Hello. I love, read, and write fantasy fiction. Oh, and I’m a vegan.

When I sell my fantasy novels at Comic Cons, I’ll usually sneak a little reference onto the bottom of my table white board, such as Vegan, or Vegan-friendly. In my mind, this covert signal will draw vegans to my table, whispering, “I am one too. Tell me, sister, about your fiction.” Like that first moment of connection in a dystopian novel. This doesn’t happen. Instead, people skip all the other great things on the board, point right to vegan, loudly state, “Look, it says veggan!” and then laugh. This hasn’t dissuaded me from the attempt. About half of those times, someone will ask, “Vegan-friendly fantasy fiction? What’s that?” They laugh. Then when I start to answer, they leave. Even more often, they point and laugh, then turn away.

In my mind, whenever someone asks what could be vegan about fantasy, it proves to me that they’ve never been a vegan reading fantasy. In addition to a lot of the violence and war in the genre (it’s usually a central component, even outside of grimdark), the best scenes feature someone riding their steed in a fine leather vest to grab a hock of ham. I’m not even sure I know what hocks are, but I have concluded they are key to the development of fantasy heroes. So, you know, my fiction is just focused a bit differently. In fact, I think that diversity and exploration is what fantasy is all about.

I’m not here to get into all of that, though. I’m here to talk about one of Cat’s and my favorite subjects: yummy food. Now, I’m not an authority on gourmet cuisine. Go to a vegan restaurant or check out many amazing online vegan chefs for that. (I’m particularly fond of Richa Hingle.) Hey, I’m not even a great cook. But I haven’t eaten meat in almost a quarter century, so I can definitely speak to “what we eat.” Don’t worry. This is just a quick blog to spark some ideas. But if you don’t mind eating plants, here are five simple foods you could give a spin.

This is a vegan staple, and yet so many people have never even heard of it. First, where to procure?

Any health food store should sell it in bulk, but even a standard grocery store should have a little plastic can of it. It’s rich in B vitamins and is often described with a nutty or cheesy taste. (It’s really a “yeasty” taste but no one wants to say that for obvious reasons.) Online vegans often say to sprinkle it on popcorn, but I find it a little dusty that way. Bloggers always show it on avocado toast, but the avocado doesn’t need it. I use it as a savory seasoning: in soups, in pasta, or even to make a quick vegan mac & cheese. Just get a bag and throw it on or in stuff. It’s good.

I do love a good tofu (I am so serious about tofu), and especially love when I can find local or handmade tofu. But there’s another common plant protein which with you may not be familiar. Seitan is essentially seasoned wheat gluten (or “wheat sausage” if you will), so it’s no good if you avoid gluten or eat gluten-free. Savory and rich, I really think you can’t beat a good homemade seitan. (Despite having more than one young hipster brag to me how much they love “eating Satan.”)

There are all kinds of searchable recipes, and I’d recommend using ones that incorporate lots of rich broth””and beer. (You don’t need the beer; it’s just got a flavor that works really well in seitan.) And if you don’t want to try making it, buy a good brand like Upton’s. It won’t be as juicy from the box, but still hearty and delicious.

I guess I should clarify that I’m a real-deal vegan. Without getting into it, that means I follow a belief system (an ethic) that also influences my diet. Not just a diet. This sometimes creates clashes with various plant-based diets that focus on health or shirk away from processed or commercial products.

No one should eat all packaged products. But if I had to, it might be the Gardein filets! Very likely in your grocer’s freezer too. It’s easy. Bake a couple of filets or tenders, cook a fresh tortilla (I buy ones without lard or non-vegan dough conditioners), and make a wrap with a few greens, some hot sauce, and a swipe of vegan cream cheese or mayo. I’m thinking about it now. Sigh.

“But I’ve had cashews,” you say. “That’s just nuts.” But vegans use them as an easy source of cream or milk. You do really need a high-quality blender (e.g. Vitamix) to make this work, but if you have one, it’s very simple. It’s recommended to soak the cashews first (we soak a bunch then freeze them), but not required. You can make a quick milk just by blending cashews, water, and your preferred sweetener (or not). I use this for delicious fresh lattes, with a touch of maple syrup.

My favorite use is a quick red sauce (e.g. vodka or masala) by blending a handful of cashews, a can of tomatoes (with green chilies, even better) along with whatever vodka or spices you want. That can be poured over pasta, or used to simmer peas and tofu, or to dip that Gardein you bought, or for whatever!

5. Just grab a plant

No, seriously, I’m not trying to get out of a fifth item here, but once you think more about plants, you’ll remember something you haven’t had for a while. I mean, I can’t just name all the plants. What do I eat? Sometimes a quick stir-fry. Other times a sandwich or freshly mashed guacamole. I can make soup dozens of different ways, all delicious and inexpensive. Stock spices. Stock your favorite grains. Simmer veggies in a rich sauce. Add fennel to pasta. Slice okra. Char corn. Glaze Brussels’ sprouts. Make a slaw. Throw in herbs. Or chop hot peppers. Bake potatoes. Add some Miyoko’s cheese or butter.

I could just go on and on, because quick staples I make for lunch are flashing in front of my eyes. Veggies are great! And maybe, like my fantasy heroes, you’ll be inspired to try one this week. If you do, tag me! I’d love to see what you make.

I hope that was fun””and maybe gave you some ideas for your next meal. I know I’m hungry, and since it’s five o’clock here, I’m off to break into that vegan wine. Want to connect? You can find me and my links at edebell.com. And you can check out my upcoming epic fantasy saga Diamondsong there too!

Author: E.D.E. Bell was born in the year of the fire dragon during a Cleveland blizzard. With an MSE in Electrical Engineering from the University of Michigan, three wonderful children, and nearly two decades in Northern Virginia and Southwest Ohio developing technical intelligence strategy, she now applies her magic to the creation of genre-bending fantasy fiction in Ferndale, Michigan, where she is proud to be part of the Detroit arts community. A passionate vegan and enthusiastic denier of gender rules, she feels strongly about issues related to human equality and animal compassion. She is the author of the Shkode trilogy and the editor of the new anthology, As Told by Things. Her latest book Escape (Diamondsong Book 1) is available for preorder now! You can follow her adventures and social media at edebell.com.

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When Lack of Social Grace Crosses the Line

An autistic responds to “The Shealy Logs” (Burgin Mathews, No Depression, Spring 2020)

In “The Shealy Logs,” Burgin Mathews relates the story of John Shealy, who created decades of logs of performances at the Grand Ole Opry. There’s a wrinkle: in 1999, police found that he’d “stalked, harassed, or bothered” 89 women. His lawyer obtained a psychological evaluation, and Shealy was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome.

At the time, Asperger’s was diagnosed as a developmental disorder distinct from, but related to autism; the most recent edition of the DSM collapsed them into a single category, Autism Spectrum Disorder. As opposed to autism, in Asperger’s, per the Autism Society, “there is no speech delay.” The diagnosis also excludes intellectual disabilities. Some individuals with Asperger’s are profoundly gifted: Bill Gates, musician David Byrne (lead singer and songwriter for the Talking Heads), and the late Derek Parfit, one of the most prominent philosophers of the contemporary era, are prominent cases.

Recently, in an online forum for adult autistics, a young man posted about being kicked out of places for making women uncomfortable. As it turned out, this young man was looking up women he’d met on Facebook to make romantic overtures to them. I explained to this young man that what he’s been doing is cyberstalking.

This man found little sympathy from his fellow autistics. The responses, many of them from women””and female autistics, though less visible, very much exist””emphasized that it was his responsibility to understand what he’d done and correct his behavior. He protested that he can’t figure that out if no one will tell him what he’s doing wrong. Again, little sympathy: we emphasized that he just had to figure it out. I went so far as saying that, if he didn’t correct his behavior, he needed to curtail his interactions””up to the point of locking himself in at home.

“The Shealy Logs” also mentions that John would not accept his diagnosis. The article quotes him as writing, “There’s nothing wrong with me.” He then violated the no-contact list that was part of his release, trying to make personal apologies for his behavior.

Neither of these is acceptable. Refusing to take advantage of his diagnosis meant that Shealy also refused to investigate the resources that were available to help him learn about and improve his behavior. No disability, including autism, can excuse a failure to meet basic obligations to treat others in a respectful manner that recognizes appropriate boundaries. If autism makes it more difficult to do that, then the answer is that you work harder and find a way.

When I shared Shealy’s story in the same online forum, one response was that this stalking behavior can’t be related to his autism, that it would have to have been due to a comorbidity. I wish this were true, but it’s not. While this behavior is unusual and deeply aberrant even within the autistic community, autistics””especially autistic men””can be prone to violating social boundaries. Combined with the intensity of interest that autistics tend to develop, this can lead to some ugly outcomes.

As a child and teenager, I crossed that line three times. In grade school, I biked over to the house of a classmate in the next town after looking up her address in the phone book. My freshman year of high school, I put a friend up to calling a neighbor girl who I had a thing for. And my senior year of high school, I badgered a girl’s friends to give me her phone number.

The last two resulted in blowback that shaped me permanently. The neighbor girl’s mother came to my house and gave me a severe verbal lashing. The second incident followed a two-hour phone conversation that, had I not screwed up, was probably headed to me dating a girl I had a years-long crush on.

I learned hard, and I learned well. Like any other group, people on the autism spectrum have different capacities for learning. Mine is pretty good, and once a lesson is hammered into me, it sticks.

Even when I’m not violating social norms””and I’m pretty good about that””I can still make people uncomfortable at times during interaction. I speak too loudly, or I stutter, or I laugh like a hyena, or I am “making a face,” as my mother likes to say. My affect tends to read as “a coiled spring that did a giant line of coke.” Especially now that I’ve met other people like this, I realize just how very unsettling that can be. (I’m not sure if it counts as irony, but autistics can be put off by other autistics just as much as neurotypicals can.)

I know that, despite my best efforts, I will make a mistake, and it will be some degree of spectacularly cringeworthy. I have a memory like the subject “The Shealy Logs,” so I know that, after it happens, I will never forget. This, as one might imagine, leads to fairly severe social anxiety. I’ve gone to parties and even spent entire days at conventions without having a conversation. I’m not good at knowing when people are approachable, and if I’m not certain it’s acceptable to approach, I don’t. For a few years, I came back from Capclave with many of the books I’d lugged around in my backpack unsigned, until I finally””maybe someone explained it to me””learned the etiquette around signing requests. (As it turned out, that there was a “mass signing” did not mean I couldn’t ask in other circumstances!)

There are books I may never get signed because I wasn’t willing to go out on a limb. I’m fine with that. I’ve accepted that I will miss some opportunities because I’ve chosen to act with an abundance of caution. I exclusively try to meet potential dates online, because I don’t trust myself to work out what’s acceptable IRL (in the last 13 years, I’ve broken this rule once, but only after a woman clearly indicated her interest by striking up a conversation). The equation here is I’m that losing out on far fewer real opportunities than I am preventing someone being made uncomfortable.

Most people on the autism spectrum will never engage in any kind of stalking behavior, and we overwhelmingly do not accept autism as any kind of excuse for that behavior. Unfortunately, like autism itself, there is a whole spectrum of bothersome behavior, which can range from barraging people with undesired (but, honestly, mine are HILARIOUS) puns to genuinely creepy behavior (had I gone through with my idea of hiding in the dark basement outside my roommate Gennady’s room, waited for him to come out, and hissed, “I’m the leprechaun, don’ ye steal me pot o’ gold”). These can be hard things for some autistics to get their head around, because they inherently rely on someone else’s subjective state of feeling bothered or threatened. But””to hammer home a point””the autistic community overwhelmingly believes that it’s on us not to make others feel bothered or threatened.

BIO: Mark Engleson is a hunchbacked, autistic aspiring fiction writer and former stand-up philosopher who works as a technical writer/government consultant in Arlington, Virginia, leeching off the bloated carapace of America. He regularly posts on Twitter as @MarkJEngleson, providing updates on his life, which he describes as “a stack of flaming tires in a trolley in a collapsing mine shaft.” His music criticism can be found at ParkLifeDC and Lyric Magazine.

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